Tuesday, December 8, 2009
This old ,old, old man slowly walked over to the bar.
He took off his cowboy hat, his skin was so white, like parchment-
And looked over the menu for like an hour slowly drinking a whiskey water.
I never took my eyes off him.
His skin was stretched over his old brittle bones-
He must have been 140 years old.
Eventually he ordered a very specific meal from the menu.
Barbecue ribs were placed in front of him-
And I watched intently as he devoured the entire rack, small bite by small bite.
Snapped every bone clean of meat-
With his tiny, efficient teeth.
But during the middle of the meal, he must have noticed me watching him-
Yet I couldn't take my gaze off of him
So the last two bones, we just stared at each other as he slowly finished his ribs-
And I could only think that he was eating human bones-
And regenerating his life.
I think he gave me a slow smile while eating the last bone-
And licked his lips.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
11. I wish companies would spend more money on R & D and less on marketing the illusion of it.
10. I wish people would live a reality life, not watch it.
9. I wish advertisers feared content and not the other way around.
8. I wish parents would view teachers as educators, not as scapegoats for their own negligent parenting.
7. I wish the government wasn’t saturated by lawyers- it’s like inmates amending the rules of the prison.
6. I wish the world would realize that global warming is not the issue, but rather pursuing renewable energy sources for the future is and only in that pursuit will we be able to not only reduce global warming, but have enough energy to survive as a growing society.
5. I wish people would stop hating each other and instead hate what they’ve become.
4. I wish
3. I wish to argue that if “Freedom is not Free”, “Greed is Good” and “Crime deserves Punishment”, we will always be free to afford a silk hat and put it on our pig without ever being punished for it.
2. I wish that modern religion would better seek compassion and lose the intolerance it condones.
1. I wish I was free of the hypocrisy that this list unavoidably exposes.
Monday, November 9, 2009
12. Something is considered eco-friendly if uses the word “green” on the packaging and features a drawing of something in nature, like a leaf, the color brown, or a tire.
11. Politics in the industry are similar to that of Washington D.C., but instead of buttons that say “Vote YES to The Rhetoric Bill of 2010”, they are stickers that say “Buy my brand so I can surf and you can pay my pimp".
10. Everyone is a surf phenomenon just on the verge of “blowing up”- all they need is like “$500 bucks a month or you, know like $200 bucks or maybe just a free set of shades or a t-shirt or a hat or whatever bra, ya know?"
9. Everyone has a nickname, and many don’t know themselves as anything but that.
5. Large hotel room bills due to heavy damage and/or marijuana fines in some form.
4. Every surfer in the industry is a photographer, a filmmaker, a graphic artist, a sales rep, a pro surfer, or a self-proclaimed brand. They are all the best at their particular trade and, yes, being a “self-proclaimed brand” is something you can be the best at.
3. If you aren’t selling drugs to pay the bills, your competition is.
2. It is an industry where all you need to create a brand is a printing press, a computer and 10 friends that can’t afford a printing press or a computer, but can afford the free t-shirt you give them to promote your “brand”.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
2. The genuine sense that these girls would join the Taliban if the Jonas Brothers told them to.
3. Screams so magnificent they would make the entire armed forces embrace ear muffs as standard issue equipment for fear of permanent spacial disorientation.
4. A trampoline in the middle of the stage that the Jonas brothers will bounce on while dazzling the stage with multicolored lights and fueling the chant of a ravenous bunch of prepubescent teens.
5. Cameras flashing so steadily and consistently that it makes the paparazzi look like children fumbling with Fisher Price Cameras.
6. The testosterone filled roar of a sports stadium will now be pale in comparison to the maniacal shrieking that occurs when a song has ended and a new song begins
7. Sweat dripping off your face for no apparent reason at all.
8. A chance to cool off when two of the Jonas brothers sweep the audience on a crane while spraying hoses to dowse the frenzied crowd.
9. The Jonas Brothers making it rain on stage- the rain will form the shape of hearts and the letters: L.O.V.E, literally.
10. A sense that you might seize at any given moment
11. Nick Jonas playing a shiny white piano that simultaneously spins while he sings about his battle with diabetes and tells the audience that they are his inspiration for fighting this disease.
12. Recurring nightmares of being trampled by Sketchers, glitter and pigtails.
13. Wondering if a Jonas Brothers concert is what a schizophrenic person might feel like after taking LSD and walking into a Hansen concert
14. Realizing that you may never again see this kind of crowd so dizzy with innocent excitement
15. A warped and twisted, yet quite exciting time